


Unlikely Encounters

by rainbowdots888



Category: Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Music, Cliche, Drama & Romance, Falling In Love, M/M, Romance, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 23:24:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10672926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowdots888/pseuds/rainbowdots888
Summary: Ryo is a young and career-oriented salaryman. He loves his life, it's comfortable and predictable... Until that day when romance movies' clichés start accumulating around him.





	1. The Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> I had written this last autumn and posted it on my LiveJournal account ( http://rainbowdots888.livejournal.com ) but never here... I wonder why, really! It's all about playing with romance movies cliches and of course our boys, hope you'll like it !

If Ryo had thought his life couldn't go more cliché, he clearly didn't expect what awaited him at the corner of this busy street of Tokyo's business district. He was a little more than thirty, wearing the suit of a pharmaceutical company department manager, owning a reasonable sized condo downtown and going out every weekend to get drunk in bars and bring girls back to his bed. Pretty cliché, yes, but he liked it so far, this life that gave him the illusion of being someone important, praised for his good looks and wit. His male friends were jealous of him and his girl friends all wanted a ticket to a ride in his bed. His life was satisfying somewhat and despite his mother's constant complaint about him still being a bachelor, he wouldn't change it for anyone. Or so he thought.

The day had been pretty normal and the hotness of the city had not discouraged him from joining his favorite colleague for a ramen lunch a few blocks from their office. He was absentmindedly shuffling through his facebook mentions - most of them being blurry and drunk pictures with his last conquest of the weekend - smiling at the faces he made on them. That's all it took for him to miss the corner and bluntly walk into two guys coming from his right on the sidewalk. He got surprised and let go of his phone, which crashed with a worrying sound on the concrete. He bent forward throwing one of his legendary and uncontrolled tantrums to get it back when his head hit another and both men were sent falling hard on their butts.

“Ouch! Can't you pay attention moron ?” he said, losing his temper for good.

“What the hell? 'must be dreaming... So says the guy who was too absorbed in his Pokemon hunt to look at where he was going ??”

“Pokemon what ?” Ryo lifted his gaze after retrieving his phone unscathed, still massaging his forehead. The person in front of him was doing the same, his frown of displeasure plainly obvious. This guy was a giant. Well, maybe not exactly giant, but it seemed so to Ryo who was quite the small person himself. A large frame, long legs and torso, and if you asked him a pretty feminine face with the whole set of features he liked to see when he picked a girl. Full lips, thin and straight nose, almond eyes that were not exactly black and luscious curls falling in bangs over his eyes.

“What are you looking at Mister Douchebag ?” Said the pretty mouth in a deep and somewhat childish tone. 

“I... nothing. Sorry.”

The second guy he had bumped into gave his right hand to his friend, lifting him up so he towered greatly over Ryo, all crushed under the other's shadow. They were both tall, to be honest, the other one looking just a bit skinnier and incredibly pale, also very feminine in his features. They made quite a pair of lookers with their stylish clothes and affected pouts. He was finally proposed a hand as well, still from the smaller one.

“Is your phone alright ?” he asked, trying to show the least interest he could.

“Yeah, I think so. Thanks.”

“Alright, so that's where we say goodbye. Tatsu, be polite, say goodbye.”

The other turned to him still clearly sulking – prettily, so prettily, thought Ryo – and let a grunt that could sound like a goodbye escape his mouth. They were gone in a second, walking down the street without a last look at him. He caught his breath again, suddenly realizing he had kept himself from breathing since he didn't know when. He checked the hour on his screen and turned heels to run to the restaurant where his friend was waiting for him. 

****************

“Ah, Ryo-chan !! Where were you? I've ordered already!”

“Yeah, I'm sorry I had an... unlikely encounter ?”

His friend smiled widely as he freed the nearest counter stool of his bag to let Ryo sit. 

“Oh... And was she pretty ?”

“No, you stupid... I bumped into a guy and his friend before arriving here. We fell on the floor. And before you ask, because I know you will, yes he was pretty. Very. They were...”

“Oh. Pretty like... you could do him or.... ?”

“Maru! Please stop saying things like that, for fuck's sake !” 

The other one laughed out loud then clearly attracting the attention of the whole restaurant on them.

“What ?! Don't tell me that you...”

“Never. I like boobs. Okay ?”

“And him ?”

“What 'him'?”

“Do you think he's more on the boobs-lovers side or...”

“What the hell! I don't know! We bumped into each other, exchanged insults and his friend kind of separated us. That's all. How could I know? And why would I even care ?”

“Well, you still looked at him enough to remember he's very pretty. I know you when you are angry, you usually don't care about the details.”

“Oh please, spare me and give me a beer.”

The man hailed a waitress, ordered two beers, and waited for them in silence. When Ryo had finally his lips in the desired beverage, Maru felt entitled to keep expressing his opinion on the encounter.

“Well, maybe the other guy was his boyfriend. That could make sense.”

“What the hell, Maru? It makes no sense at all. He can be anyone, they can be anyone. And I don't care. End of this discussion. Tell me about this afternoon's account instead.”  
But as his disappointed colleague was presenting the details of their afternoon job, Ryo couldn't help but think again about those two beautiful guys. Could they be... a couple? The way they talked, the way they interacted with each other. That hand of the smaller one delicately resting on the other's lower back as they walked away. What was he thinking about? It was madness. He would never see them again anyway. So what was this small tinge of jealousy he felt in his heart when he recalled the sultry lips and the sensual voice of this unknown guy? Tatsu. That's how the other had called him.

****************

The following days he found himself going out around the same hours walking to the ramen shop and back to his office just to be able to see them again. The questions hadn't stopped and he hated himself to get distracted by such an insignificant accident, especially at night, when he went to bed in his empty and too impersonal apartment. The first night he had a troubling dream in which the two guys were kissing, in front of him. The taller had looked right at him without flinching all the time the kiss had lasted, his hazelnut irises seemingly on fire. He had trouble breathing, his lungs were heavy and his heart pounding, halfway between envy and embarrassment. The dream had woken him up in the middle of the night, sweating in his bedsheets as if he had run a marathon just before. 

The other nights had been just the same, this dream and its many variations playing on loop in his head, making him wary of sleep. He was really wondering how something so unimportant was driving him crazy and was bothersome enough to start taking naps at work at the disappointment of his boss who had always seen him as a war machine.

Even on the long awaited weekend, when he brought back home a pretty decent girl and kissed her on the way to his bedroom he could see those damn hazelnut eyes superimposed on hers. His lack of motivation then was so blatant that she left slamming the door behind her, not without swearing loudly. 

And there he was again on a sunday afternoon, in the deserted business street, seated at the corner, waiting for someone who would surely never show up again. He stayed there for the whole afternoon, his body boiling because of the heat, slowly plunging into bitterness. Why was he so obsessed with that guy and his pretty boyfriend? Why ?

When the sun came down he went back home and threw himself on his sofa, his mind entirely blank. He neglected his mother's repeated calls, didn't answer Maru's text about the coming monday and the company's new girls he wanted to introduce him. Damn Maru who had contaminated him with his nonsensical questions about unknown people that he'll never see again except in his dreams. That night he fell asleep on the same sofa and dreamt of the beautiful guy again. But this time he was the one kissing him, slowly, hungrily, letting his hands lose themselves into the beautiful curly hair of the other. When he woke up the following morning he felt a lot more rested but his heart was clenching and his brain hurting with the question that had tormented him all week: 

Had he just fallen in love at first sight?

And with a man. A man he didn't even know the complete name, to make things more complicated. 

****************

After two weeks of growing desperation and sleepless nights, he decided to bite the bullet and go clubbing, to find someone he could fuck senselessly to forget the whole thing. He chose a new club for once, a place where everyone was a nobody, to be able to be someone else, to forget everything of his current situation. 

He was halfway to being totally wasted when at his dismay he saw someone he knew, that other guy, the pale one who had lent his hand to him two weeks ago. He was seated on a sofa, alone, elegantly drinking a glass of bourbon and watching with amused eyes the never ending drama of the dancing bodies. On an impulse he couldn't control and most certainly influenced by all the booze in his veins, Ryo walked up to the sofa and without asking, sat next to the other. Who turned towards him and with the least affected expression ever, held his glass up as a good evening.

“Wow, look at who we meet in such places! How's the phone ?”

“I... It's okay. I'm sorry, maybe I should leave...”

“No! No, no... Remain. I could use a nice conversation... this place is so friggin boring.”

“So why are you here ?” Asked Ryo, drunk enough to let questions slip past his lips without control. 

“For him.” Said the black haired man, his graceful hand pointing at a slender silhouette lost among the dancers. Ryo's breath was caught in his throat as his eyes discovered the very object of his dreams sensually moving a few meters from him. His companion had a knowing smirk when he saw how he had been hypnotized by the vision. “You like him, right ?”

“What? No... , I... . I'm not interested in men ! And well I guess he is your...”

“My ?”

“I mean... He is yours. Your boyfriend, sort of. I don't know how this stuff works with boys.”

“Tatsu ?? My boyfriend ?” Surprisingly, Ryo saw that man laughing wholeheartedly, his high pitched giggles almost covering the impossible noise of the music. “You really don't know how all this stuff works in the end. That's cute. Sorry to disappoint but he is my brother. We've got the same mom, that is.”

“Ah.” Without knowing why Ryo felt in fact slightly disappointed by the lack of shocking revelation. It was as if suddenly all his fantasies could come true, throwing his mental barriers off balance. That, and and the fact he had dreamed for weeks of two brothers kissing, which was retroactively rather disgusting.

“Yeah. I don't know what you imagined but I'm just being the good older brother protecting his young, foolish Lil' brother.”

“I imagined... nothing, really. I'm sorry, I've got to go... well, ….”

“Oh no, don't go just now. Tell me why you came to talk to me then ?”

“I don't know, I think I was just too curious but ...”

“If it's curiosity, we've nothing to hide. My name is Yokoyama Yu, nice to meet you... ?”

“Nishikido Ryo. But...”

“Ryo-san.” confirmed the other with a gentle smile. Ryo was not sure why he kept listening to him but the man seemed to be in the mood for some storytelling as he caught his forearm firmly and prevented him from moving from the sofa. “My brother's name comes from his father. It's Ohkura Tadayoshi. But it's long and difficult, so I call him Tatsu. He goes by many nicknames, as every friend he has calls him differently. He's a musician, a drummer in a slightly popular band. He gives guitar lessons for a living though. I mean, seriously... that band is a mess. I'm a writer, plays, and poetry mostly. We live together in Tokyo thanks to my stepfather who's rich and provides for us. That's pretty much everything interesting about us. Is your curiosity satisfied, Ryo-san ?... How about you ?”

Ryo had listened to the speech almost with fascination, his eyes never leaving the dancing silhouette of the person he could finally name. Ohkura Tadayoshi. Yes, it was long, difficult to pronounce but he found himself trying out the name in his mouth, repeating it several times until it flowed naturally through his lips. He turned towards Yokoyama, resolved to enter his little game. After all, he had nothing to lose, it was not like he would fall in love for real and wreak havoc in his perfect little life. 

“I'm Ryo. I'm thirty-one and I'm a boring salaryman with lots of ambition and an empty soul. And to be honest, I've always wanted to learn how to play guitar.”


	2. The Doubts

After a few weeks of unfruitful lessons, it became painfully obvious that Ryo was not really interested in music. He had tried his hardest to show interest but very fast the difficulty of it, the jargon that his newly found teacher used had discouraged him. So instead of dedicating himself to practice, he observed. He spied on the other to detail every small tic, every wrinkle that formed when Ohkura was smiling or frowning, all the fragrances coming from him – from his perfume to his usual detergent – and virtually record them in his own Ohkura Encyclopedia. He found a strange satisfaction in learning about the other by heart when the very object of his curiosity seemed unaware of it. At first, the young man had sulked a little – a lot – and had made it clear that it was his brother who had insisted on giving lessons to Ryo... and that he had to comply. The first lesson had actually been a conversation in a stylish cafe about the salaryman's motivations and the kind of music he liked. Ryo had tried to look cool despite the awkward atmosphere and quoted famous musicians, which had left the young man unimpressed, given he mistook Michael Jackson for Prince. 

The lessons were held at his place, on sunday afternoons, and if at first the teacher seemed nervous and wary of his new student, he slowly relaxed and turned into a very affable young man. Which was not to make things easier for Ryo who gradually felt his heart beating harder for the other. He surprised himself checking his reflection thrice on a sunday morning to be sure to look good and always cleaned up his flat before Ohkura arrived which he had never done for any of his friends before. He wouldn't say that they had developed a friendship per se, but they enjoyed their time together despite the student repeated fails at playing music.

It was around five on that autumn afternoon when things changed between them. The sun was setting, casting its soft light on the apartment walls. They had taken a pause, drinking a hot coffee seated in the living room. The young teacher put his mug on the coffee table and after a long contemplative silence, broke it with a very soft voice.

“Finally, Ryo-san... Tell me honestly. Do you like playing guitar ?”

“I... Don't dislike it. It's a little complicated and I don't feel like I will be able to play properly one day.”

“If you were more focused, you'd be able to play. Your hands are made for it.”

Ryo looked at his hands, that he had never really observed. They were convenient to type on a keyboard and caress bodies, and that's all he had ever wanted them to do.

“My hands are... hands.” he answered at a loss, looking at his fingers spread on his leg.

“Yes, they are. But they're a little more than that. They're long and supple, I'm sure they're very skilled.” Ohkura had said that with a lopsided smile, looking at him right in the eyes, without flinching. Ryo was not sure if he had to read a double meaning in that sentence, but his heart clearly stopped for a second. He decided to play along, just in case he had guessed right on what the other had implied. 

“I guess something is distracting me then...”

“Oh, really? Do you have any problems at work ?”

“No, work is doing fine, thank you. Something else is...”

“Or someone maybe? Are you in love ?” Ohkura asked with the most innocent smile. Ryo's breath was held captive in his throat for a second. He wanted to say yes, and no at the same time. His feelings were not even clear for him so giving an understandable answer was out of reach.

“Kind of. Maybe.”

“Ah. Well, good luck then...” He winked at Ryo, still smiling frankly as if to defuse the threatening bomb that was their conversation and looked at his watch. “ Oh, I'm sorry, I've to go... Dad is coming to visit us tonight and he hates when I'm late.” 

“Sure. We'll see next week, right ?” The question had sounded a bit too desperate for his liking but it was too late to take it back.

“Yeah... If you still wish to learn music ?”

“I do.”

“Okay, so... See you next week.”

*****************

Ryo had just closed the door behind Ohkura when his phone rang. It was Maru, and it occurred to him that this guy may be one his few true friends and that he should talk about all this with him, before moving further. Maru was a bit silly but he had this trustworthy vibe to him that could help in such moments. The discussion he had just shared with the teacher had kind of blown his weird hopes away and despite the tension he had felt, nothing happened. And he didn't know how much longer he could stand this situation without jumping on Ohkura and just try something, anything, a situation he would rather avoid. He still stood in his genkan when he answered the call, sliding the green signal flashing on his phone to the right.

“Hey, Maru... What's up ?”

Just when the other cheerful voice resonated in his ear, his apartment door flew open on Ohkura who took his phone from him and put it on the nearest furniture in one swift movement. He looked at the dumbfounded Ryo with burning eyes and softly put one of his hands on his jaw. There was a short moment of silence, of anticipation, and the young man locked his lips with his. Maru's voice was still chatting alone in the background but Ryo didn't pay attention anymore. The other was kissing him fully and his tongue was licking his lower lip, clearly begging for more. It felt like his heart had stopped as he opened his mouth and welcomed the other with a shameless moan. All his being was floating and his feet may have not even touched the floor anymore as the kiss became deeper and more amazing every passing second. Until Ohkura's sultry lips suddenly left his mouth. He opened his eyes to discover the young man's face in utter confusion, trying to mutter something, far from the seductive and determined expression he had just before.

“I... I'm sorry...” He said with a childish tone. In his eyes Ryo could read fear, and even panic as he walked back slowly and disappeared into the hallway, running down the stairs to leave the fastest he could.

He was still standing in his entrance, gasping for air and trembling when he finally noticed Maru's voice calling for him through the phone. He took the device and with an ample movement sent it crashing against the elevator door. He slammed the door close and finally fell seated on the floor, mouth agape, unable to move or cry.

It was dark in the flat when Ryo re-opened his door shyly, checking that no Ohkura was standing behind. He came out to retrieve his phone, still in one piece and perfectly working. He thought to himself that he should write a letter to the phone maker to congratulate them on the quality of their product.

Shitty-love-story-proof.

He smiled at his own joke before remembering what had happened. Suddenly the anger built up in his gut, a violent storm that had him see clouds and flashes of lightning in front of his eyes. What was this brat thinking by stealing him his first kiss with a man? Who had asked him? What gave him the right to do this?

_You. Your attitude and even your implications were screaming 'Kiss me!!'_

He was lost in this whirlwind of feelings, torn between his new desires and his reason, reminding him that he couldn't possibly be falling in love. It was too early, it was strange, Ohkura was a man. But the warmth spreading through his belly when he thought about the other's lips on his, how they'd felt... it was such a delicious sensation that he couldn't help but want more. Without thinking he typed a text to Ohkura, nervously pacing in his living room. 

_'I want to keep learning. If your ass isn't on my sofa sunday at three, don't come back nor contact me, ever.'_

****************

“And... What are you afraid of ?” Maru was holding his glass halfway between the counter and his mouth, looking puzzled.

“It's a guy, moron !” Emphasized the other guest sitting with them. To make his statement even more striking, he hit his coworker's head with the hand flat, spilling beer on his victim's trousers. Ryo looked at him sadly, still lost in the long confession he had just made.

“Yeah, Hina's right. It's part of the problem. Only the very strange twenty percent of the problem. But actually, I'm not too bothered by that. There's also the fact that he's a spoiled brat, he's really weird, I'm not ready to fall in love, geez... I'm only thirty-one. Plus, his brother is kinda scary if you ask me. And my main problem is that he's way too hot to let him go.”

“So, don't let him go...” This time his senior had softened his tone, massaging Maru's head gently. It was his way to make them forget he was basically hitting heads for a living, but only regretted the blows distributed to both of them. “Just give it a shot... It's not like your heart can be broken, you're the top of the food chain, remember ?”

“And if I'm not, in the end ?”  
“The only way to find out is to try, Ryo. If you get eaten by your brat, Maru and I will be there for you. But I'm not too worried about you.” 

“Yes... We'll be there !” repeated Maru with his amazingly heartwarming grin.

“Thanks, guys, you're the only people I can honestly talk with.”

The frankness of his friends and their support surprised Ryo who was not the kind of person to rely on others. It felt good to know he was not alone in this confusion, for once.

****************

The week went by very slowly, rhythmed by his looks on his phone, as he was still waiting for a reply from Ohkura. The text he was dying for arrived on the friday afternoon during a boring meeting with the sales department.Ryo had almost forgotten about his phone on the table when it vibrated. He jumped in surprise and after excusing himself for a second, read the message in the corridor.

_“I'll be there. Please review last week's tablature”_

He simply typed “OK” and sent the text before he could write anything compromising and made a short victory dance by himself, checking that no one could see him in the corridor. Saturday was long and dull as he spent the whole day cleaning his apartment and practicing his tablatures on the guitar Ohkura had lent him. Strumming all afternoon had at least a good point: it made him forget a little about the following day's appointment and concentrate on his hurting fingers. When the young man arrived at three o'clock sharp on sunday, Ryo was ready to spill the beans, explain everything and make this whole mess clear.

He opened the door at the first ringing, displaying his best welcome smile. Ohkura came in with a shy little bow, got rid of his shoes without looking at him and went to the living room without a word. It was going to be difficult. 

“Alright, Ryo-san. Let's start... Can you show me what we did last week ?”

Ryo almost threw himself in Ohkura's arms, taking him at his word. After all, the week before, they had kissed. But he decided to stay reasonable for the time being. He took the guitar, sat on his large and comfortable footstool and started strumming it with diligence. He could feel the hazelnut eyes he had dreamed about so much setting on his hands, on his arms and slowly the warmth they radiated went up along his neck and his face. He did not dare raising his gaze and tried his best to follow the melody, playing like he had never played before. At some point, he was so absorbed in his music that he failed to notice that the other had moved slowly, never averting his eyes from him. He jumped a little in surprise when he felt Ohkura's chest against his back and the young man's hands taking hold of his on the guitar. 

“It's way better than before, but still, your position is not the best. Let me show you...” said the other, slightly modifying the position of Ryo's hands on the fingerboard and the body. Ohkura's mouth was impossibly close to his ear and he could feel his warm breath caressing his own neck. He shivered a little, feeling the other's large and muscular body move against himself. Music was no more in his mind when finally he got what he had craved for all week, contact. Ohkura led his left hand down the neck of the guitar slowly, still whispering some advice to him, and finally intertwined his own fingers with Ryo's as if it was the most obvious thing he could do at that point. He stopped talking for a second and sighed.

“Ryo... I'm sorry for last sunday. I've been an ass. I thought you would reject me, get angry at me and yell. My heart would have been broken and my life back to normal. But you kissed me back. I was so confused. I'm so sorry...” This confession sounded painful and Ryo realized that Ohkura might have spent a terrible week as well, not daring to reply to his text, torn between forgetting everything or going further.

“Why did you kiss me ?”

“Isn't it obvious ?”

“I... don't know. I'm not exactly an expert when it comes to feelings, you know...”

Ohkura's fingers left the guitar and Ryo felt his arms hugging him from behind. His hands were soon possessively spread on his chest as if trying to tame his beating heart. It felt better than anything he had experienced in his love life until then, a new sensation that made him feel vulnerable and invincible at the same time, that gave him air to breathe and withdrew it immediately. Ohkura's lips touched his nape and tenderly kissed him there, sending a wave of pleasure along his spine. The guitar fell on the carpet with a soft noise as he finally turned and kissed the other desperately.


	3. The Discoveries

Ryo was at this point in his life when everything went too fast and a little too well. One of these slices of lives when career, self-esteem, money and love are shining high in the sky and no clouds can obscure them. Even if the concept of a love life in itself was a new and complicated thing to learn, for him who had never kept a girlfriend more than a week. Let alone a boyfriend.

Their first kiss, correct that, second kiss, had blown away all the barriers and limits he had mentally drawn around the fact of actually dating a man. The whole experience had been so delicious that he had declared himself ready for more at the second, not wasting any time and attacking the other's neck and chest with his lips as if his life depended on it. Ohkura had slowed him down, shyly blushing as he explained that in a love story what comes before, this time you should take to seduce the other a little more every day, was also important. Here was the first rule he set to Ryo: to take their time to get to know each other because as he had said, everything would feel even better in the end.

For the first time in his life, Ryo shared dates and meals at fancy restaurants with a person he hadn't slept with yet. Ohkura went as far as staying overnight during the first week of their relationship, innocently sleeping in the true sense of the word, wearing only his boxers next to a very worked up Ryo. Who did not sleep one minute, because he was thinking of a plan in which usual movements in a bed could smoothly lead to something way more rated? In the end, he collapsed from tiredness on the sleeping other five minutes before his alarm for work went off and had to endure a whole day at the office clearly out to lunch.

On the other hand, the kissing was amazing. He could think about it all day and then at night without flinching, waiting eagerly for the second when Ohkura's wonderful lips would touch his again. They loved it so much that they couldn't contain themselves and regularly kissed in public, either on the sidewalk or in the movie theaters amassing displeased looks and angry reflexions. His boyfriend couldn't care less, he was an artist after all and knew what provocation means, but for him who had never stood out, it felt strange and uncomfortable to be looked at and criticized. But when he felt Ohkura's hands caressing his neck and the other's lips touching his, all the whingers vanished and only the feelings remained. He loved the sensation of sincerely liking someone. He wanted to shout it everywhere, to dance in the street under the rain and finally call his mom to tell her he had finally found a person he wanted to live with. And then he remembered that they wouldn't be able to marry nor have children of their own. And he remembered also that they'd been together only for a few days and that they hadn't gone very far yet... therefore postponing the serious questions to an undetermined time. Far away in the future.

****************

Ryo was working at home with Maru that saturday morning, catching up on many late accounts when Ohkura knocked at his door, this four short knocks he had learned to recognize. The young man came in with a very large smile, holding an envelope in his right hand. He was about to say something when he noticed his boyfriend's colleague in jeans and t-shirt, sprawled on the sofa.

“Hi...? ”

“Oh ! Hello! Nice to meet you, I'm Maruyama, Ryo's coworker.”

“Ohkura Tadayoshi...” The other man had cheerfully jumped out of the sofa and caught his left hand for a handshake. He looked a little taken aback but what gave Ryo the weirdest feeling since they had started dating was the tinge of jealousy he could see in his boyfriend's eyes. He had been really happy at the idea of Ohkura meeting his friend, but he felt a little distraught when his two worlds collided. To relieve the tension that had fallen in the room, he chose to talk.

“You didn't tell me you were coming this morning...” 

_Oops. You shouldn't have said that._

“Why? Am I interrupting anything ?” said Ohkura with a tensed smile.

_Here it is. He is jealous._

Maru must have felt the hostility because he laughed suddenly and with his hand waving in the air, dismissed the problem.

“We were just very late on our work and worked a little this morning... I'm going to leave, by the way, I think we're done.” 

He gathered his things, the papers that were all over the coffee table and waved at Ohkura, adding that he'd love to get to know him better. He was out in an instant saying that he would see Ryo on the following monday at the office. The door closed behind him and they were both left in the silence of the apartment.

“You are jealous. Oh. My. God. You are fucking jealous of Maru.” Ryo mused as he almost danced his way to his boyfriend. He threw his arms around Ohkura and resting his chin against the other's chest, added. “ That was so cute. Scary as well, but most of all very cute. And damn, you looked so sexy.”

“I'm not jealous... but hey, I just found a handsome guy slouching on your sofa at nine on a saturday, with very messy hair and red cheeks. It's... disturbing.”

“Maru's not a handsome rival, he's just Maru. I've known him for years and nothing ever happened. We're just friends okay? And you are... jealous.” 

Ohkura finally looked at him in the eyes and smiled.

“I may be. A little. Just enough.”

“Oh you can be jealous, it suits you. And I may be jealous as well if I find out your friends are that handsome.” said Ryo, his voice muffled in the other's fluffy sweater. “ Kiss me now... You've been here too long without having kissed me already.” The young man didn't wait long to oblige, shutting his boyfriend's mouth with a slow and passionate kiss.

“Ryo... I have something for you.” He said, giving the envelope he was still holding.

“For me? What is it? Why ?” Ryo was knowingly diving head first into an ocean of sugar coated feelings, but he couldn't care less when Ohkura's hands were resting on his hips and he still felt his delicious taste on his lips. He opened carefully the gift and took the paper inside. It was a small gift card, with yellow and green ribbons interlaced and a handwritten message. It said that to celebrate their first month anniversary, Ohkura would take him somewhere for two days. He looked up at the other, who was still smiling tenderly. 

“When ?”

“Today. We're leaving now... If it's okay. Please pack some clothes, don't forget a warm sweater and your leather jacket.”

“Won't you tell me where we're going ?”

“Not yet, it's a surprise...”

*******************

The first surprise was waiting for him downstairs, parked in front of his building's door. Ohkura handed him a helmet and he climbed for the first time on a huge bike, black and shiny, which noises and vibrations made his heart flutter. He was very afraid at first, seeing how the young man wove in and out of the traffic at a tremendous speed. His arms were supposed to stay on armrests on his sides, and he even had a backrest to relax but he rapidly found a better position: crouched against his boyfriend's back, holding his chest tight. Ryo could relax a little then, even enjoying how the landscape passed on their sides like a colorful ribbon. They couldn't really talk but connection passed through the vibrations of the powerful machine and the intimacy they shared, being so close of each other for hours. It seemed that long to him who had nothing to do except for looking at the sceneries of endless rice fields and mountains. They started climbing after a while and Ohkura took smaller roads that were only large enough for one car. The air felt purer and fresher when they finally stopped. Ohkura killed the engine and removed his helmet, Ryo still clinging to him like a koala to its tree.

“You can let go... We just arrived.”

“Mmmm. Can I stay like this forever ?” he muttered, enjoying the closeness of their position. 

“I don't think so. How are you going to enjoy the rest of the weekend then ?” The young man moved aside laughing, finally freed and winked at him.

“So... Tell me now. Where are we ?” 

“In the mountains, an hour and a half from Tokyo. Very nice hot springs resort I knew of.”

“Sounds great !” 

He got off the bike and followed the other, holding his hand. He was excited and a bit anxious as well, realizing how much he had missed by spending his early life at work, filing papers and selling drugs. Ohkura had taken him out, as a surprise, which seemed the perfect romantic gift for the young couple they were. But what concerned Ryo the most was that he hadn't gotten the idea at all. He simply didn't know how to behave as one of the halves of a couple and he hoped that the other wouldn't notice soon how much of a novice he was when sincere love was involved.

****************

They spent their afternoon walking in the woods, bathing their feet in shiny springs and talking like they had never talked. Ohkura had taken a ukulele with him to sing beautiful songs to him in the middle of nature, surrounded by mountains and woods. They spoke about music, about the young man's band that Ryo had never met, all focused they had been on themselves for a month. 

“You know, they're nice guys. Talented also. But it's so difficult to make yourself a name in this world... Yu-chan doesn't like them. Well, no, I'm not fair. He despises them, kind of. He's really proud and thinks I'm wasting my talent with them.” They were lying in the grass of a meadow, enjoying the last rays of sun of the day. They didn't touch nor looked at each other but this simple talk sounded like the most honest they had ever shared to Ryo. It was perfect.

“I must come and see you play. And maybe your brother will change his opinion when he'll see I like them.”

“Niichan doesn't know for us, Ryo. He thinks I'm with a girl.”

“You're kidding me? He almost threw me in your arms... He's the one who made us see each other every week.”

“I... don't think he thought that it would end like this. You looked hetero enough for his standards.”

“Well, it's not like you care. You are...” Ryo paused and thought in horror that he had never asked how old Ohkura was, nor his birthday. He felt really bad for a second, his heart undergoing a free fall of emotions.

How are you going to ask him, now, moron? Without sounding like a jerk?

“I am an adult, yes. But it's... complicated.” Ohkura looked at him with curiosity, noticing the anxiousness of the other. “ Are you okay ?”

“Yes... Sorry, but... I think I never asked you... Gosh, I'm such an asshole... How old are you ?”

The other looked puzzled for a second and finally smiled warmly. He planted a kiss on his forehead before lying back in the grass.

“I'm thirty-one. We're the same age, so don't worry, you won't have problems with justice and my family just now.”

“It's not like I thought you were sixteen either...” answered Ryo with a slightly sarcastic voice. “I'm really sorry I didn't ask before, it makes me look like a jerk.”

“I don't care.” Ohkura turned to him again and pressed a kiss to his lips. He stayed very close, his forehead touching Ryo's and looked at him in the eyes as he whispered: “ I don't care because I love you.”

Ryo's heart danced in his chest at that moment and hearing those words was like having a fireworks festival happening in his head and stomach. His body nonetheless chose this moment to shiver, as the freezing winds of the evening started blowing. The sun had vanished behind the horizon and they were half in the darkness, up in the mountain.

“You're cold... We should get going.” 

He followed the other's deep voice as if he had been hypnotized by the words uttered in the meadow. Anything could happen to the world at that moment, he wouldn't even notice. He was cold but his insides were incredibly warm. He was afraid of what was waiting at the corner for them but he felt the luckiest person on earth as well. 

****************

Ryo woke up from his trance when they checked in at a small hotel that Ohkura had booked. It was a very old house smelling of wax and tatami mats' straw, offering long wooden corridors and amazingly cozy bedrooms. They were brought to theirs by an old woman wearing a kimono, who explained them everything about the room and the hot springs with a charming smile. The whole place looked empty and apart from them, only the owners wandered through the hallways.

When they were left together alone, Ohkura sat cross-legged on one of the futons and sighed happily, closing his eyes. Ryo removed his sweater and silently moved towards the other, who kept his eyes closed as if he was meditating, a light smile adorning his tempting full lips. He slowly sat on his boyfriend's lap, straddling him to get the closest he could to his body. Eyes still shut, Ohkura took him in his arms and rested his head on Ryo's shoulder. They stayed embraced like this for a while, without exchanging a word, simply enjoying the warmth and the comfort, until Ryo finally gathered enough courage to speak.

“I… I love you too.”

He felt his boyfriend's head shift slightly and his lips graze the skin of his neck in feathery touches. The simple contact brought his body back to a point he thought he had forgotten along the day. He wanted the other badly, so badly his insides hurt. He had no idea of how everything would work out in the end but he knew one thing: now was the moment he had patiently waited for. Ohkura's kisses became more feverish as his lips went up his neck, finally reaching his mouth like a long-awaited oasis. The embrace felt more than perfect, in this place unknown to them, warm and comfortable, far from the worries and the obstacles they could meet in Tokyo. Their bodies started moving against each other, eager for more touches and sensations as hands ran along arms and backs, napes and necks. 

Ryo felt Ohkura's fingers slip under his shirt and run along his spine, making him his willing slave with touches. It was the furthest they had been, the most intimate contact they had experienced but it already felt suffocating and Ryo feared an instant it would be too much for him to bear. His lover's voice made him tremble when finally he said in the crook of his neck those words he had been expecting for what seemed ages.

“Oh, Ryo, I want you now...” It was deep, it was shaking and definitely the most beautiful music Ohkura could ever produce.

In the calm of the empty hotel, in a room that felt like a bubble in time built just for them, Ryo relinquished all authority to Ohkura. He abandoned himself to the other's caresses and lips, savoring every second of it as if he were going to die on the following day. His lover was obviously experienced and took care of him with patience and greed, letting his mouth taste every inch of Ryo's body guided by the intensity of his moans. When the moment came to give himself entirely, he felt too many things at once to sort them out. Accomplishment, pleasure, ecstasy... There was a slight pain, yes, but most of all the tremendous feeling of being complete, physically and emotionally, of finally getting to know what it is to be loved with passion by someone he trusted more than himself. The sensation of their skins, hot and sensitive, sliding against each other, and all this electricity born of their contact was intoxicating. His lover's voice as well, so deep and melodious filled his entire mind, providing him an anchor into the storm of emotions he was feeling. It had been too short and infinitely long at the same time when he eventually came into Ohkura's arms, almost crying from happiness. They kept kissing for a while, pressed together on the futon and their legs tangled, not ready to let go of each other. 

“I don't want to leave this place. Let's stay here forever...” murmured Ryo, as if the walls were enemies who could hear them. 

“You would get bored with me and my ukulele here 24/7. But we can come back anytime you wish.”

“I can't get bored of you, stupid. I've still so much to explore and to learn...” 

He held Ohkura's chest even tighter and buried his nose in his skin, breathing avidly to keep the memory of how pleasing his lover smelled after love. It was exhilarating to feel like drowning into the other, to stop being one and only to become two united bodies and souls. He stopped thinking when he felt kisses again on his shoulder and whispered, enthralled:

“Love me again, please.”


	4. The Disappointment

Despite the hotness of the bath, Ryo remained skin on skin with Ohkura, his head buried in the crook of the young man's neck. It was sunday morning and they had to leave the hotel soon to drive back to Tokyo, but they still clung to each other as if the whole world was against them.

“I love how your collar bone is made... I always want to bite it.”

“To bite it? Damn... I'm no food, please stop dreaming about eating me” Ohkura said as he stifled a laugh.

Ryo let his fingers follow the line of said bone, slowly reaching the jugular notch, where he stopped as if he was trying to memorize its shape with the tip of his fingers. The other let his head fall back on the pool's edge with a satisfied sigh. Ryo's mouth joined his fingers and soon he was nibbling at the neck and bone he loved so much, oblivious of the fact they were in a public bath and anyone could walk in suddenly. Ohkura's low purrs encouraged him to continue as his left hand traveled down in the water along his lover's side and round hip. 

“We can be seen anytime, babe, maybe we should...” Ohkura whispered.

“I don't care. Let them stare...” he answered between two kisses around the other's enticing Adam's apple.

But when the door to the bathroom slammed behind a new bather, he jumped in surprise and almost fell head first into the water, slipping on the smooth stones on which he kneeled. Ohkura laughed wholeheartedly at the risky figure Ryo had to execute to stay afloat, his voice echoing on the rocks around them at the newcomer's dismay.

“Fuck...” Ryo muttered between his teeth, glaring at the unknown fun-killer through the steam.

They left the bath shortly after, his lover still holding his ribs in pain for his crazy laugh wouldn't stop. Ryo pushed Ohkura on the back to make him walk faster and finally leave behind this ridiculous situation.

They parted ways after a nice lunch they took once back in Tokyo, kissing endlessly in front of Ryo's building. The promise was made to meet at Ohkura's next live performance, on the following wednesday in Roppongi. When Ryo was eventually back home alone, doing his laundry and cleaning, he suddenly felt the urge to send a text to his lover. He took his phone and typed a first message.

_Thank you for the lessons, teacher.  
I can't wait to take your lesson again.  
xx_

He read it again before sending, then paused for a second. He looked at the words that would have fitted who he was a month ago, and let them dance in front of his eyes. They were not exactly what he really wanted to say now that everything had changed. He erased the message and typed another one, that he sent without thinking twice.

_Thank you for every second of this moment with you.  
I love you._

**************

The following wednesday, Ryo came out of the office in a rush, despite a very busy schedule and the screaming voice of Hina running after him in the corridors. The hell of all the reports due for the day before and the ton of emails he had not answered yet, he had a concert to attend. He was not that eager to hear his lover's music nor meet his pals in the end but after the fairy tale weekend they had spent and three full days alone, he had grown seriously frustrated. His nights were filled with images of his lover all over him and even though it had been only three nights they had parted, it was as if he had already forgotten how the other had felt in and on him. He didn't change into more comfortable clothes and went straight from the office to the small club. He was late and arrived well into the gig, bumping into punks and overly made up girls with his shoulders to make his way to the bar where they had decided to meet. Once seated on a stool and a beer in hand, he finally took some time to observe the stage. And there was the other, banging his drums furiously in the background, a huge monster of a drum set it was, all green and sparkly. Sweaty strands of hair were dancing all around Ohkura's head as his hands swiftly set the rhythm of a very upbeat song. Ryo could see for the first time how much fun his lover had drumming and playing music. His sultry mouth was opened on an unending moan and his tongue was sometimes licking the full lips like he used to do after their most heated kisses. He was shirtless, his lean muscles shifting under the thin skin, every inch the hot beauty Ryo had fallen for. It was like looking at his lover having sex with a drumset, Ohkura being incredibly hot and passionate behind this huge instrument.

He forced himself to detach his eyes from the drummer and have a look at the two other musicians, one small blonde guitarist who jumped everywhere and beamed at Ohkura when their two instruments were responding to each other, and a slightly emo dark haired guy whose voice was enthralling. Their songs were good and they sounded like real pros, which Ryo found peculiar. How couldn't they get their break given their obvious talent and good looks? He had expected a low-quality performance from his lover's friends but they were as talented and true as him. Yokoyama had to be tone-deaf to despise them. The concert ended with a roaring applause from the audience and they left the stage to leave another band take it. 

Ten minutes later, he felt strong arms encircle his neck and a tender kiss landed right under his right jaw. Ohkura was there, showered and changed, his wet hair still dripping a little on a white tank top.

“Hey, Beauty! Are you often hanging out around here ?” was the first sentence uttered by the ecstatic drummer who had just spent a great time on stage and found his boyfriend waiting for him.

“Not so often, I only come out to stalk the sexiest drummers” answered Ryo, grinning at the other. He was rewarded by a languid kiss that felt so good he forgot everything going on around them for a second.

“Ryo... Let me introduce you my friends... First, this is Subaru, our main vocalist. We met at the music school and have been playing music together for fifteen years.” Ohkura showed the dark haired man who had just arrived behind him. Ryo shook his hand firmly and noticed he had liked the guy from the first second. Subaru had large almond eyes that were shining with honesty and passion, not to mention his voice that had shaken the young man's heart more than he would admit to his lover. 

“And here comes Shota, our guitarist.” The second musician approached slowly and shyly gave his hand to him. His attitude was very different and Ryo couldn't decide if the guitarist looked at him with suspicion or plain aversion. He had been so solar on stage a few minutes ago that this change in attitude could mean only one thing. This Shota didn't like him. He decided nonetheless to introduce himself to them with diligence, to avoid misunderstandings.

“Hey, guys! Nice to meet you... I'm Ryo, Tadayoshi's...”

“... New pet, yeah, we know that much.” said the small blonde ironically, immediately elbowed by the singer.

“Shota, please...” Ohkura sighed, rolling his eyes. “Won't you stop with that ?”

“Never, darling. Now if you'll excuse me, I've much to do far from here.” 

He left on that, not even looking at Ryo a second time. 

“I'm sorry it had to be like that, Ryo. You seem to be a cool guy... I'm going to follow him and... I don't know, try to reason with him.” said Subaru looking up at Ohkura who was obviously angry. His friend had ruined his evening and he was fuming. “I was glad to meet you tonight, please come back to our lives. I hope we can meet again soon.” He shook Ryo's hand again and left, running after the guitarist in the middle of the mob.

“Whoa. What was that Tadayoshi ?” Ryo was standing mouth agape along the bar, looking quite surprised. “He called you darling. And he is fucking rude. What the hell ?”

“Yeah, I'm sorry, I should have told you about him. But I was so afraid of your reaction when...”

“Yes ?”

“... Shota is my ex. We've been together for three years and I … dumped him. Because I didn't love him anymore and well, to be honest, we were young and experiencing. It kinda went wrong. Everything had gone too fast between us, and Niichan... .”

“So that angry midget is your ex? Nice. When did you plan to tell me? It's not like you're working with him every day... You could be jealous of Maru who's just my friend...”

“Please, Ryo... Not you... He's not over me, alright, but as far as I'm concerned, it's over. Definitely. It's been two years since then and nothing has happened. I love you, only.”

The salaryman was sulking, his arms crossed in front of him. He couldn't look at his lover in the eyes as all his might was fighting back a panic attack. That's how it feels to be jealous, he realized, and deep down himself, he sensed tears climbing up to his eyes. Ohkura took him in his arms and kissed his temple tenderly. Ryo clenched hard the fabric of his lover's top and stayed cuddled in his warmth until his heart slowed down to a reasonable rhythm.

“I'm sorry, babe... but... he's seeing you more than me and... You with him, you... You touched him that way too. I... I'm not sure I...”

“Shhh. Ryo, please. Let's talk about this calmly tonight, but not here. Let's go, okay ?”

“Alright.” He pulled from his comfortable nest against his lover's chest and looked up at Ohkura with red and swollen eyes. “Too bad, because the music was great. You looked very cool up there.” 

His boyfriend smiled tenderly and took his hand. He grabbed his jacket, his helmet and led Ryo to the bike on the parking. They left for Ryo's in silence, under the spiteful gaze of the guitarist.

 

****************

The delightful ministrations of Ohkura, that night, helped Ryo forget about complaining further. His lover was there, with him, so real and human, giving him pleasure without a second thought and everything seemed perfect again. That Shota could go to hell, he had lost the game long ago and the actual winner of the prize was him, Nishikido Ryo, enjoying it to its fullest. Way later into the night, as they were spooning in bed, he took one of Ohkura's hand and brought it to his lips. 

“I'm sorry for earlier. I was surprised. I hope you're not mad at me.” he said with a small voice.

“Hmm? Why would I? It's my fault, I should have told you.” The drummer kissed his hair softly, intertwining his fingers with his. “I love you more than I ever loved anyone, Ryo. No one can separate us.”

 

***************

 

Ryo went back to the concerts pretty fast. He wanted to show the blonde guitarist he was in place and wouldn't budge. Shota wouldn't talk to him but he didn't care at all because Ohkura was showing publicly his love for him – he found it sometimes a little too public, to be fair – every time they met his friends. He happened to appreciate Subaru a lot as the guy was everything he liked in a friend. Honest, a little weird and really fun once drunk. He decided to ignore the third guy and tame his jealousy when he saw his boyfriend laughing to his ex's blunders.

He felt on a roll if he was honest with himself, and the only things that were still bugging him were his mother's oblivion and Ohkura's brother shadow on their relationship. That's why he asked his boyfriend a dinner with Yokoyama, where the three of them could talk about everything and relieve the pressure. The young man had seemed a bit afraid of the idea but nonetheless organized a meeting at a restaurant in their neighborhood. They arrived first, early even, feeling very nervous. Yokoyama walked in perfectly on time, with his trademark pout showing his disinterest in most of the earthly matters to the world. Ryo suddenly remembered how beautiful he also was. When the two brothers were seated side by side it was an unending delight for the eyes to be at their table.

“Good evening, it's been a while... How are you doing Ryo-san ?”

“Pretty well, thank you. How about you ?”

“I'm... dealing with many things. But overall it's a very pleasing time.”

“Ah, great.” said Ryo, at a loss for something else to say. Ohkura was as pale as his brother – which was not normal for him – and mute, looking down at his glass of red wine.The silence lasted a little while, the waiters walking to their table to bring stuff that they didn't even touch.

“Alright, there is something going on here. Tatsu ? Why did you arrange this dinner? And why are you so quiet now ?”

“Nii-chan... We have something to tell you. About the guitar lessons...”

“That is to say, I'm not taking any actual guitar lessons anymore.” helped Ryo. Yokoyama 's eyebrows went up as his mouth was opening in surprise.

“I suppose you didn't organize all this just to update me on your lessons status. He's lost students before, and it was no big deal. So what's the matter ?” The tension was tangible in the room as Ohkura's elder brother tried to delay unconsciously the revelation. He seemed to know already but wanted to hear it clear and loud the latest possible.

“I love Ryo. He's my boyfriend. And I won't change my mind even if you don't agree, I'm not as naive as before.” confessed the young man in a breath, looking at his brother in the eyes.

_Damn. The shit gets real... It's now or never._

Ryo clenched Ohkura's hand with strength and took a deep breath.

“At first I was just curious but... I fell in love as well. I'm sorry if you trusted me to be the average boring heterosexual salaryman but that's what I was before I bumped into him in the street. He made me different, he made me better. I love him. We'd love to have your blessing of course because you're...”

As he was speaking, Ryo saw Yokoyama getting on his feet and looking at him with the coldest hatred stare he had ever seen. It was so freezing that his words died in his mouth and only silence was left between the three of them. 

“Tadayoshi... What did I say when you were dating that guitarist? Do you remember ?”

“Yes. You said 'never again'. But I don't care anymore... Tell dad if you want, I don't need his stupid money.” whispered Ohkura, as he was standing to confront his brother. Ryo followed the movement and they were soon planted on their feet in the middle of the restaurant room.

“You need it. You're a fucking artist. You don't want any job that actually makes money !! What are you going to do when he finds out and disinherits you ?” Yokoyama was shouting his lungs out and the whole restaurant was now looking at them in dismay.

“I don't care, I said! Ryo and I will live together and go to hell with father, you'll both have fun down there !”

“Tadayoshi, don't come back crying when he dumps you in the gutter. You know how those stories end, right ??”

Ryo was lost between the two screaming men, not knowing which side would actually shout the loudest to win the argument. But the last words of Yokoyama made his blood boil in fury.

“Dump him? What the fuck Yokoyama? I'll never...” he was cut short by a powerful slap that sent him back to his chair with an astonishing sound. His left jaw hurt a lot and he could taste blood in his mouth. That skinny writer had a formidable and surprising strength. Ryo collected his thoughts, still shaken by the blow and got on his feet again. He scowled at Yokoyama and turned heels without adding anything, still holding his boyfriend's hand who followed in silence. They left the restaurant under the eyes of a dozen persons, either shocked or amused by the situation, but mostly very silent. Anger was boiling hard in his stomach.

 

When they reached his apartment, a few blocks away, he was still fuming and desperately mute. Ohkura had tried to talk to him on the way and have a look at his jaw but he had turned his head in the other direction and refused the help. He felt like transformed by the slap, back to his old nasty self, when anger was leading his life and he could fight for one wrong word.

Once the door had closed behind them, he took Ohkura by the arm and pushed him against the nearest wall. His anger was driving him crazy and the only thing he wanted to do at that moment was to prove the world – himself – that the young man was exclusively his. He crashed their mouths together hungrily, biting his lover's lips with greed. He knew Ohkura could taste the blood still lingering in his mouth and he intended to share its flavor, to show him the price he had paid. The young man's hands did not turn him down as he expected after such a rough start but instead grabbed the back of his head and pulled him into a deeper kiss. They couldn't let go of each other's abused mouths as they started rubbing their bodies together in a desperate dance. 

Ryo was constantly muttering _'you're mine'_ into Ohkura's mouth and on his skin, removing his lover's clothes with fierce movements. The other seemed mesmerized by him, taking it all without a word of complaint. Ryo bit his flesh, sucking hard every bit of skin that could still be branded with his mark, consumed with a possessive frenzy. His lover seemed to surprisingly enjoy this new way of doing things, far from their habits, as Ryo could feel his feverish hands caress him everywhere and hear him moan loudly. The young drummer was catching his breath sporadically between two groans, when he was not busy kissing back his lover and whispered, shaking, _'yes, I'm yours'_ only for Ryo to hear.

“Only mine.” said Ryo with dead serious eyes. He untied his silky blue tie and attached Ohkura's wrists together with it, delighted to see how his lover's eyes were shining in expectation. He led him to his bed, pulling on the tie from time to time to steal a passionate kiss. He had never really been the one in charge with Ohkura but his anger had fueled his desire and he craved for domination. The people against them, these damned haunting ex and control freak brother could go die, he was the one owning Ohkura now. Before throwing the other onto the bed though, he stopped for a second and looked for approval in his lover's eyes. Who was naked with his hands still taken in the silky fabric, standing proud and gorgeous before him and defying in all his beauty, his face consumed with lust. 

“Don't stop now, Ryo” articulated the young man with a whistling voice between two ragged breaths. “Show me what it means to utterly belong to you.” 

Ryo pulled on the fabric roughly but seeing the other's mouth twitch slightly in pain, finally decided to untie it. Ohkura's wrists were red where the silk had bitten the skin and his hands were paler than ever.

“Does it hurt ?” he asked, kissing the swollen skin.

“No.” Ohkura inhaled Ryo's hair with a sensual moan, letting his mouth linger over the other's ear. “ I'm growing impatient, Nishikido.”

“Come here and shut up, you brat.”

Ryo shut him up with one last tender kiss before resuming his plans. He pushed his lover down on his bed, ready to claim his prize and enjoy it until the end of the night.

****************

The moon was shining through the windows when Ryo woke up later, casting a pale and cold light on the edges of the furniture and the walls. He searched for the other next to him before noticing the faint light coming from the bathroom. Ohkura had left the door ajar and a line of yellow light was running on the floor climbing the piles of clothes discarded everywhere. He got up and walked to the bathroom where he could hear the sound of the water running in the basin.

When he opened the door and saw the other, he was struck by what he saw. Ohkura's body was bruised in several places and Ryo could see the mark of his hands on the pale hips of his boyfriend. 

“Are you alright ?” he asked with a small voice, suddenly overwhelmed with shame. The other jolted slightly, surprised, and turned to him.

“Yeah, I was just very thirsty.”

“Oh. Babe, I … I'm sorry for...” he showed some of the bruises, passing his fingers over them. He walked to the other and spread his hands on his lover's belly in a possessive yet tender gesture. “... for all this. I shouldn't have. I've no excuses.” Ryo felt so remorseful that tears started pooling at the corner of his eyes. He couldn't forgive himself for having been so rough, dominated by his anger and jealousy.

“Ryo, we are adults. I'm taller and stronger. Do you really think I'd let you hurt me and then resent you for it? I liked it. I wanted it as much as you did. And also you were incredibly hot.” said Ohkura with a naughty smile. “As long as it's not every night...”

Ryo chuckled in the middle of his tears, throwing his arms around the other for a hug. He felt a little less terrible thanks to Ohkura's words and soothing caresses. This night had taught him a lesson: loving Ohkura utterly didn't mean he owned him in anyways. There was no prize, no claiming. Just crazy, painful, wonderful love.


	5. The Fall

That morning, when he woke up in the other's arms, Ryo felt more than lucky. They had talked for hours in the secrecy of the night, Ohkura holding him close to his heart on the bed that had witnessed his frenzy. He was thankful to the other for being so understanding in that particular matter, even though his whole body still hurt. To forgive himself, Ryo thought, he would have to be the best partner ever, supporting unconditionally his lost lover through the storm that awaited them. Ohkura cried a little because of his brother, Ryo soothed his tears with soft kisses and words of adoration. They fell asleep in this position, and only the sun piercing through the windows woke him up a few hours later.

If he thought about it, it was not just the sun that pulled him out of his dreamless sleep. Someone was cooking in his kitchen. He could clearly hear the jingling of the kitchenware and the coffee machine brewing with its familiar purr. Ohkura was still there, encircling him with his strong arms and snoring softly, his head on Ryo's. When he moved, the young man shifted but did not wake up and turned in the bed with a contented sigh.

Ryo could leave the bed in silence, put on sweatpants that lied around on the floor and walk to the kitchen without triggering any movements from his boyfriend. He was not that surprised, to be fair when in the room he found his mother preparing breakfast for him. 

“Mom? What are you doing here ?”

“Hi darling !” she said with a kiss on his cheek. “I'm glad to notice that you're happy to see your poor old mom...”

“That's not... Couldn't you call beforehand? Today's not really the best day for...”

“For what? A sunday morning is perfect to have breakfast with your mother. Ah, dear... I found clothes in your entrance, I didn't know you were wearing such stylish things... They seem a little too large for you though.” She explained as she cooked eggs on the stove. Ryo remembered all that happened the previous night, the madness in his entrance, Ohkura's clothes discarded on the way to his bedroom and … all the rest. He blushed suddenly and passed his hand over his face in a desperate attempt to stay focused. 

“I put them in the box next to the washing machine anyway. You're welcome. Aaah, your flat is so messy... I wonder if you're really my boy...” She clicked her tongue but smiled to him warmly.

“Mom, listen... I love you and all, thank you for the breakfast, but... I'd like you to leave now.”

She looked at him with worried eyes, her hands stopping their movements. The eggs were already burnt in their pan.

“Why? Why wouldn't you want to see me now? Is there someone you don't want me to see here? One of your sluts from the clubs you still go to? I told you this has to stop, you're nearly thirty-two and...”

“Mom! Stop. Yes, there's someone I don't want you to see here. Not a slut, but my... partner. It's serious mom, for once, and... We just had some trouble. I don't want to introduce you to each other right now. Give me a little more time.”

Ryo could see all the emotions passing on her face. Dismay at first then happiness, and a bit of curiosity. She glanced at the bedroom door that he had left ajar, looking for a silhouette, a strand of hair, some noise maybe, coming from the person her flighty son was serious about. But thankfully, thought Ryo, it was closed enough to see nothing of his naked boyfriend still sprawled on the bed. 

“Ah? And... when will I be abe to meet that girl ?” His mother asked with a sugary voice, all ready to leave now she knew about a real relationship between Ryo and some saint who could actually stand him. They were arrived safely to his front door, his mother putting her jacket on when he heard his bedroom door squeak. His heart raced in his chest but it was too late. Ohkura was already standing naked in the middle of the room, looking for something.

“Babe … Did you see my shi...” He stopped in the middle of his sentence, realizing that he was standing in front of an old lady in shock, without any clothes on. His body was still bruised all over and his hair was a mess, but the only thought that came to Ryo was how gorgeous his lover looked. His mother was still mute, mouth agape, trying to catch his arm to avoid falling. Ohkura ran back swiftly into the bedroom, closing the door with a slam, and Ryo hated that weekend even more than an hour ago.

****************

He had helped her to his sofa and given her a coffee, hoping she would not faint or start having a nervous breakdown. Once his mother looked pink again and a little less in shock, Ryo left her and ran to the bedroom where Ohkura was locked in. His boyfriend was still naked, sitting on the bed holding his legs with his strong arms. He raised his eyes to look at Ryo when the door opened, checking if the unknown lady was still there, behind him.

“Who's that ??” he asked with a blank voice.

“My mother. I'm so sorry... She was going to leave, I... tried so hard to make her leave before you woke up.”

“Oh, great. So in lieu of a proper introduction to your parents, your mother learned in one second that her son is with a man walking naked in his apartment and covered with hickeys. No, really, I couldn't have imagined a better meeting.”

Ryo sat on the bed next to him, his hand tenderly caressing Ohkura's arm.

“I'm really sorry... At least she knows, now.”

“Stop saying that you are sorry everytime something happens, Ryo. This is obviously not your fault. We have to deal with the situation and well... How is she ?”

“She's a delightful woman, very kind. Just obsessed with the idea of me getting married someday.”

“I meant, now. How is she after what happened ?”

“Ah. Sor... hm, she's okay.”

“Good. Because I'm going to go and introduce myself properly, at least.” Ohkura left the bed as Ryo handed him one pair of his home sweatpants and a t-shirt. They walked together to the living room where Ryo's mother had remained seated on the sofa, looking a lot better than five minutes before.

“Mom? So, … we... well, I think you got it by now but... This is Tadayoshi, my boyfriend.”

She turned slowly towards the couple, holding hands behind the couch. Her eyes detailed the drummer patiently, looking for anything that could help her to accept the situation. A smile, an overly seducing expression that would melt her heart. He walked to her and bowed deeply, his face vanishing under the curly mess of his hair. It looked like apologies more than a proper introduction to Ryo but he let the other deal with the situation by himself. He had to trust him.

“I'm very sorry you had to witness something like that this morning. If I had known you were here...”

“Don't be sorry, I was the one invading my son's privacy.” Her voice was steady, warm enough to relieve a bit of the tension in the room. “Of course, I'm very surprised. I didn't know that... well, you're a man, you see.”

Silence fell on the living room, the three of them looking for help in the other's eyes. Ryo was afraid of what his mother could say, Ohkura feared rejection again, and she was listing everything she would lose in this. No beautiful and luxurious wedding where she could show off and invite all the neighbors to brag at how successful her son was. No grandchildren looking like Ryo to pamper during the vacations. But looking at her son, at that exact moment she also saw something else. She saw someone who could finally stand against her to protect his partner, someone who was so certain of his feelings that he stood next to the other as a proper companion. It was the first time, and her son had never looked that accomplished. So she asked one question, only one, and depending on the answer she would make her opinion.

“Tadayoshi... Tell me, do you love Ryo enough to stand next to him against all the hardships you may encounter? I mean, even if both of your families turn their backs on you, even if your friends abandon you. Would you stand next to him? I have to know.”

“Mom... maybe it's not...” started Ryo who suddenly felt worried about the answer. After all that had happened, all the people around them being giant assholes when it came to their couple, he feared this question could ring like an alarm in Ohkura's head. Was he really ready to fight against the world to be with him, the uninteresting and rough salaryman who hadn't given him one proper love demonstration since they started dating? But one of Ohkura's hand softly landing on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks. It was warm, it was steady and the other's voice started, slow but assured, right next to him.

“Madam, if I had to consider this, if everyone abandoned me because I love your son... Well, they're idiots. I can't change my feelings. They're here and no one can make me budge. He may not be a charming prince or perfection, but I love him as he is. He makes me complete and I need his presence next to me. If he feels the same towards me, well, it's a yes, ma'am.”

Ryo looked up at his boyfriend, tears rolling on his cheeks. On an impulse, he pulled Ohkura into a passionate kiss. When they parted, his mother looked at them a little surprised but smiling.

“Alright, I guess I don't have a thing to say against this... I'm not going to tell Dad, though. It's your mission, Ryo. But I think he'll survive.” 

She stood up and kissed her son on the forehead tenderly. She left quite fast then but with the promise to come back and talk more with Ohkura. Ironically, his mom would be soon the least of their worries.

****************

Ohkura had more or less moved to Ryo's. He refused to talk to his brother who called several times a day and left insanely long messages on his voicemail, that the young man erased without even listening. They raided together the brothers' loft in downtown Tokyo - when Yokoyama was confirmed absent - for clothes and instruments, laughing and kissing while searching through the huge flat. The first time Ryo had been stunned by the size and the luxury of the place but his shyness gave way pretty fast to blatant provocation. It became a game for him to find the writer's security cameras surveying the whole place, in front of which he never hesitated to kiss his lover hungrily or initiate a heated make out. He was then very satisfied with the idea of the older brother swearing and screaming at the recordings.

These moments were happy, they laughed, brought back a lot of stuff to his place, looked at Ohkura's family pictures or memories together for a while before making love, never getting tired of it. Now they knew each other perfectly, Ryo could say that having sex with his boyfriend was the most awesome thing he had ever done. He could think about something, a game, a special kiss, all day before rushing home and try it out with an always compliant Ohkura. They experimented a lot, experienced an infinity of sensations and delights, drawing their own map of each other's pleasure, every time more efficient and bold. It was heaven in his opinion, this perfect harmony of feelings they had reached, living in their own world without paying attention to the rest of humanity.

But it couldn't last forever. One winter day, as the snow covered the streets and muffled all the noises from outside, Ryo woke up earlier than usual at the sound of light sobs coming from the living room. He left the bed in a rush and found Ohkura, his phone in hand, crying softly on the sofa. His eyes were swollen and his gaze lost very far away, looking at invisible silhouettes in front of him. When Ryo walked to him, he suddenly came back to his senses, his eyes focused again. And the vision he offered was crushing. It was as though the young man's soul was falling apart along with his certainty.

“Are you alright ?” murmured Ryo, his heart trying to escape through his throat in anxiety.

“... No. My dad is dying. Niichan was calling non-stop during the night. I was worried and couldn't sleep, so I called him back. He's dying Ryo...” His beautiful deep voice broke on the very last words as he took his head with his hands. His long fingers clenched his hair as he started sobbing again, slightly shaking. 

“Oh, my love, I'm so sorry...” said Ryo, falling onto his knees in front of the other. He took his lover's hands and kissed them, an action that had become his favorite display of tenderness. “You have to go and see him, talk with him, before...”

“Yes, I have to but... Are you going to be okay ?”

“Don't worry about me. Do you need my help in anything ?”

“Ryo... my family. They're strange you know. I may not be able to see you for a few days. Just... wait for a sign from me.”

“I'll wait. I love you...” Ryo leaned in for a kiss, in which his lover plunged passionately. Ohkura seemed smaller and weaker than ever, hanging onto his lips like onto a lifeline. 

He nonetheless felt a surge of panic when the young man left the apartment after the last tender embrace, closing definitely the door on their happiest times.

***************

He had promised to wait. But the anxiety was too strong now he was alone again in his cold place, facing every day the hints of Ohkura's existence in his world. Two days ago, a week ago, countless days ago, when the rooms were warmed up by their laughs and moans when the guitars sounded perfectly tuned and his lover's hands were roaming his sensible skin. The other had promised to give news, but apart from a few texts on the first two days, nothing had come from the stronghold his family estate was. Ryo was not mad. He knew his boyfriend had existed in his life, everywhere he could see proofs of his presence.

Despite what he had promised, he decided one day to go there by himself, see the other at least five minutes and then leave, promising he would wait again. He researched the address and went after work on a freezing friday evening, his mind already fantasizing on the warm lips of Ohkura on his, on this incredible kiss that would inevitably reunite them. The mansion was sitting on a hill, dominating a rich suburb of Tokyo, dark and disturbing with its black stones contrasting with the purest snow he had ever seen in the city. Ryo pressed the doorbell firmly, almost expecting to hear the young man's voice on the other side. Someone else answered, an old woman apparently, who refused to listen to him. He tried again, twice, five times, ten times, never yielding under the threats the old servant was muttering.

Go away or we'll call the police. Call the police, he thought, I don't care. I'll scream loud enough for him to hear me. I'll fight until he knows I'm here. When the door finally opened on someone, it was Yokoyama walking towards him, snuggled into a warm woolen coat. 

“Please leave, Ryo. We don't want you here.” His voice was slightly trembling and his gaze, fleeting.

“We ? … or you? I won't leave. I'm not your servant ! Where is Tadayoshi? I have to see him.”

“He's resting. Times have been tough for him, and the least thing he needs is a whining 'boyfriend' under his windows.”

“I'm not whining. I didn't get any news for three weeks. His friends neither. We're all very worried and... I need to see the person I love, he's not your prisoner for fuck's sake !!”

Suddenly Yokoyama's attitude changed. Annoyance plain on his face, he turned heels, clicking his tongue. 

“Leave, Nishikido. I won't say that again. It's not the place nor the moment. You'd better forget about him.” 

The automatic door closed slowly behind the thin silhouette, without a noise. It was well past midnight and Ryo fell on his knees in front of the house. His uncertainty about their whole love story, the torturing questions he had stopped asking himself when they were happy together, all of this came back, knocking him out. He stayed there, in the snow, waiting for death to take him or for his lover to appear, he didn't know anymore. 

Death apparently had no plans for him as he saw the sun rise the next morning, frozen but still warm enough to be suffering deep inside. He couldn't move his legs that much, so he called Maru. And as the perfect friend he had always been, Maru came as fast as possible and brought Ryo back to safety.


	6. The End

Ryo was lying in his bed but sleep wouldn't come. He had been prey to a high fever for two days and had refused to eat anything since then. Maru had brought him to the hospital where they took care of the frostbites on his legs and hands, before releasing him without much more attention. He was home, yes, but an empty home resonating with his painful moans when he was shifting a little between his bedsheets. Maru had also spent the weekend with him, checking his fever, cooking and trying to make him laugh. He was made to make others laugh with his weird jokes and endless enthusiasm. But Ryo didn't laugh... He was not desperate, he was just empty and cold. 

He couldn't move from his bed on monday morning, so he took his day off, and the tuesday as well, because after all, life wasn't worth working anymore. The monday evening was by far the worst moment. His fever rose to an unbelievable level and Maru decided to call an ambulance when he came to check on him after work. He abandoned the idea when Ryo threatened him between his gritted teeth and his sobs. He wouldn't go back to the hospital, it would pass, it was just a heartbreak, nothing to worry about for someone like him, still at the top of the food chain. So his friend stayed with him all night, seated next to Ryo in the large bed, trying to keep him conscious. And they both fell asleep that way, Ryo assaulted by nightmares and Maru, exhausted, his phone still in hand, just in case.

They were woken up by the sound of the front door unlocking and the familiar faint noise of socks walking down the short hallway leading to Ryo's bedroom. Maru sat up a bit, his hair a real mess, still holding a part of the pillow he had colonized for the night. Ryo was still floating in the limbo of his fever but those steps he could hear were too familiar for him to go back to sleep. He knew this rhythm, this soft friction noise on the wooden floor of his corridor. He had anticipated way too many times the day when he would hear it again, waiting in his bed for the body of his lover to join his, for Ohkura's warmth to come and save him from the invading coldness.

The door opened slowly with its usual squeak, revealing to Ryo's tired eyes Ohkura's silhouette, tall, beautiful but insanely changed. The young man was a lot skinnier than before, his cheeks hollowed by the tough times he had just gone through. His wonderful hazelnut eyes were a shade darker and terribly sad. It's just when those beloved eyes widened in shock before him that Ryo remembered that Maru was there, next to him, in his bed. Maru who was already jumping out of it, stuttering some justifications that could make his presence in that particular place legit. A silence followed, the three of them vaguely awkward. Ohkura suppressed a retching sound and without a word closed the door again and disappeared as Ryo tried to produce a sound, any sound that would persuade the other to stay. But only Maru could really move. Running after Ohkura, he managed to reach him and grabbed his sleeve. Ryo could hear their voices screaming in the corridor, where he couldn't see, so with a superhuman effort he lifted his body on his weak legs and following the walls, left the bedroom, step after step. Maru was holding Ohkura against the wall, clenching his sweatshirt and yelling to him in a very strange scene. Ryo's lover was potentially stronger than his best friend but the forces had been rebalanced by the recent hardships the young man had undergone. 

“Don't leave !! I said, don't leave again! He needs you !” Screamed his friend to his lover's face, the veins running along his forearms ready to explode.

“I knew who you were, I knew this would happen one day... I've been absent only for a few weeks !! And here you are, in our bed !” Ohkura was trying to escape clearly conscious he couldn't win the fight. His voice was shaking as he tried to keep his dignity and not collapse weeping on the floor.

“Who I am? I'm the one who was here when you abandoned him, fucker ! Where were you when he desperately called you? Where were you when he stayed in the snow a whole night just to see you? Were you sleeping comfortably in your bed? Because, as far as I'm concerned, I was there.”

Ohkura remained silent for a second, processing all the information. The calls, the snow, all of this seemed to surprise him, as if he were finding a piece that was not fitting in the general puzzle of the last weeks. After the shock, his arrogance won over the questions and he coldly stated:

“And so your reward was my boyfriend? Because you were I don't know where you had the right to fuck my man ?”

“What? We did nothing !! I was just here to take care of him, to check if he was alive! Stop this nonsense now...”

“Let go of me, I swear I'm going to hit you and it'll be ugly...” Ohkura's voice was low and growling, almost hopeless. They had reached a point where they were both exhausted and despising each other. All the while Ryo had walked, as fast as he could – which was way too slow for the occasion – along the corridor, his poor voice trying to stop the two men's fight. When he finally reached them, his fever and the effort had made him almost delirious again and he collapsed forward trying to mutter something to his lover. His fingers grasped Ohkura's sleeve and when he fell, he could finally feel his boyfriend's arms encircling him, catching his falling body before he hit the ground. His nose found the way to Ohkura's neck and he breathed in softly, inhaling with delights the beloved fragrance before losing consciousness again.

****************

Ryo opened his eyes to a room he didn't know. It was large, white and lighted by the afternoon strong sun. He felt a lot better than before and that obviously was the consequence of the IV catheter planted into his right arm. He turned on his left, slightly, just enough to see who was sitting next to his bed, bathed in the sun's blinding light. It was Ohkura, and just when Ryo recognized him, the young man looked up from his book. Their gazes met in the intimidating silence of the hospital room, none of them daring to speak up and say the first words they would exchange in weeks. But Ohkura smiled. Gently, softly, one of those smiles full of tenderness Ryo craved for on the mornings alone. So he smiled also, as much as his still weak strength allowed him. It all seemed to be a dream after the terrible morning he'd lived, but for now, he was content with it, enough to go back to sleep holding strongly his lover's hand.

The words came later. At first, they were just looking at each other, exchanging smiles and meaningful looks. Ohkura's hands felt perfect in his, on his arms or cheeks when they lost themselves in a caress. He heard the other's voice the first time on the tuesday morning. He had woken up in an empty room and suddenly panicked. What if everything had been just a dream? He was writhing in his bed, trying to remove the catheter by himself when Ohkura came in, a glass in hand. He ran to the bed and softly put his hand on Ryo's forearm.

“Shhh. Stay calm. I'm here. I went outside to get a coffee.”

With his valid arm, Ryo grabbed the front of his lover shirt and pulled him until he was almost lying on the bed with him. He didn't recognize his own voice, raucous and deep when he uttered a few words in the other's ear.

“Stay here. With me. Please.”

Ohkura remained half lying on the bed, shifting just enough to be comfortable and rested his head on Ryo's chest, as the latter let out a satisfied sigh. When he was released from the hospital, two days later, he was physically well again but still couldn't let go of his lover's hand.

 

****************

“So... can you tell me now what really happened? It felt like you had vanished suddenly. No texts, no voicemails, no answers... I thought you had forgotten everything about me. I thought I was going mad and had dreamed all of our relationship.”

Ryo was sitting on his own sofa with a plaid on his knees, holding a cup of steaming tea. The other had just joined him with the same cup, finally ready for the dreadful conversation they had to have. Ohkura seemed embarrassed overall and still extremely sad. Ryo's heart hurt to see him like this but he had to ask. They couldn't start something again on the unexplained ruins of their first crisis.

“My father died last thursday.” was the only sentence Ohkura could actually pronounce. He was searching for his words, for more, in the mess that were his memories, his mouth opened on an unspoken pain.

“I'm so sorry you had to go through this... Really, I do.” Ryo moved closer to the other and laid his head on the young man's shoulder. 

“Yeah... He was strict and dumb on many things but still... When I was a boy he was so kind and the greatest father you could dream of. He had changed so much... He died at home, thursday morning. Mom and I went to our hometown for the funeral that same evening and Niichan stayed home to arrange the details until he joined us on saturday. I was not even in Tokyo when you came at our house. He told me nothing about you and the fact you'd come to see me... I can't believe he let you freeze outside... I...” He held back a sob as Ryo was shivering, his body recalling the freezing night outside. 

“I don't think he knows that I stayed there all night. He told me to leave and forget about you... I just couldn't. I had to stay.”

“That's the stupidest idea ever.” said Ohkura, kissing Ryo's hair. “But also the most romantic.”

“I didn't do it out of sappiness though. I was so desperate, I couldn't move. No news for weeks... You could have been dead and I wouldn't have known.”

“Yeah, about that too... On the second day, when I went back home, we had a fight with Niichan. He yelled at me because I was trying to call you and we fought for real, you know... My phone broke and I didn't have your number written somewhere else. Dad felt really bad and asked me to come to his side... I had to stay there until he passed. Niichan became a lot sweeter all of a sudden so I asked him to search for your number and write you messages every two days... He was typing them in front of me... I guess he never sent them. He told me you were doing well and were just waiting. I didn't even doubt him one second and I'm so sorry for that. I feel so stupid.”

“... You were losing your father. Your brother is really strong at manipulating people. Just stop trusting him, now that you know what he's capable of.”

“Maru told me how he took care of you and how bad you've been. It's all my fault...”

“No. Don't say this. It's my fault as well. I've been too extreme, I guess I love you too much...” Ryo turned towards Ohkura to look at him in the eyes. “ I was so scared when both of you fought... What happened after I passed out ?”

“You were so unwell... We called an ambulance. He explained everything to me. Something in his attitude made me believe what he said... I'm still super jealous, though. I guess I love you too much...”

They smiled at each other then, warmly, without any clouds darkening their gazes.

“So... If we love each other too much...” started Ryo, “What's the solution? Should we break up and stop the pain or should we continue ?” He was deadly serious when asking that question that had tortured him for days. Was it really worth the suffering?

Ohkura softly took his chin and lifted his face towards him until their noses were almost touching. The intensity of his look, the beauty of his eyes screaming I love you to him achieved to convince Ryo. Yes, it was worth it. Definitely. They shared a slow and feverish kiss, their breaths blending in the most delicious sensation. It felt so good that they cried and smiled in their kiss, their lips avidly searching for the other's face, eyes and temple, any place that they needed to feel again against their own skins. All the words they needed had been said and the bodies were taking over the moment. All the weeks of frustration, the pain they both had endured melted in the tender embrace, providing the warmth they had dreamed of. 

Ohkura's hands were shy while Ryo's turned bold after a few seconds, adopting the frantic rhythm of the heart that was leading them. He touched, he explored and kissed, oblivious of his health and current weakness. Under the tip of his fingers, he could feel the shivers that shook his lover, the bumps forming on his skin and it made him even bolder. He straddled his boyfriend and deeply kissed him, his hands already unzipping the other's plain sweatshirt.

“Ryo... You're so weak. I don't think it's...” Ohkura was shut up by another kiss, that he received gladly. His shyness and his resolve to behave properly that night started to dissolve under Ryo's lips. Who was doing his very best to be convincing.

“I don't care. Even if I look like a scarecrow, I need you now. Make love to me.”

The young man stared at him with serious eyes, still torn between his reasonable mind and the intoxicating warmth invading his gut. Ryo's right hand traveled down, playfully, until his palm was resting on the bulge in his lover's way too tight jeans. He slightly pressed there, and put up his cutest pout. 

“Please ?”

Ohkura surrendered immediately, his mouth opening on a deep moan as he toppled the other's thin body on the couch. Ryo had won, and received the caresses and the kisses with a delighted laugh. He let his mind sink, like a shipwrecked in distress, entrusting his life to the waves of sensations that assaulted him.

When Ohkura came with a cry, buried deep in him and his head resting on his chest, Ryo felt finally alive again. It had been fast, had taken just a few passionate thrusts for the young man to reach bliss encircled with his lover's warmth and love. Ryo's heart pounded hard and the pool of pleasure growing in his belly was ready to explode as the other's hand started stroking his erection. Ohkura was kissing him all over, as if his lips couldn't leave his burning skin, muttering loving words into every soft valley Ryo's body had to offer.  
His orgasm came suddenly, strong and overwhelming, surprising him. He was engulfed in a sudden hotness and his mind went blank, a strangled moan escaping him as his nose and mouth were buried in Ohkura's luscious hair. They had made love like teenagers, quickly, clumsily, on a sofa corner without minding the mess, their cries of pleasure muffled in the intensity of their embrace. But it felt perfect nonetheless and Ryo would have asked for a second round if he hadn't felt so exhausted. They smiled at each other shyly before sharing a lazy kiss. On a cold february evening, in Tokyo, they had shared their second first time, infinitely more meaningful for them than the first. It meant understanding, it meant peace and above all, true love.

 

****************

 

Ryo was awfully nervous. The most nervous he had ever been in his whole life and the first guitar lesson with Ohkura couldn't even compare. He was sitting in the dark, trying to remember his lines, the guitar tab and most of all to keep breathing. He could hear the hubbub of the club in the distance, all those people who were drinking and having a good night out, far from suspecting what he was about to do. He had asked Subaru to go pick Ohkura up at home without telling him why. He shared a secret with his lover's friends. A secret he had worked on for three months straight, every time the young man was not with him, a secret that had even given him nightmares on some nights...

His sweaty hands went up on the guitar's neck, positioning themselves by heart, rehearsing automatically the notes he had to remember. Surprisingly, Shota had helped him write this song. He had told Ryo he didn't feel like fighting anymore after what had happened. The angry midget was finally not that angry and not such a midget. He could even be pretty sweet in Ryo's opinion, if you knew how to tame his character. They had seen each other a lot recently, for this secret, and he knew he couldn't have done anything if it was not for the guitarist obvious talent at composing. He had introduced Maru to his lover's band. And seeing the cheeky smile his best friend and Shota had shared, their shining eyes when they talked for the first time about their life, he could bet that something was going on. He had also seen Yokoyama, quickly, one day when he came to pick his lover up after a meal the brothers had shared. He had looked at the other with defiance and Yokoyama had just said hello, in the most casual way. His boyfriend then assured him they wouldn't have any problems with his older brother: he would be way too busy managing the family company to care about his little brother's private life anymore. Or so he hoped... Future would tell.

His phone rang, making him jolt. It was a text from Subaru, saying that it was okay, they were in the club waiting for him. He also wrote that Ohkura was asking after him continuously and he had better drag his ass on stage quickly because it started to get annoying. Ryo got up, took his guitar and walked to the stage, shaking. If it had not been for the love of his life, he would have run back to the nearest closet and hide until the closing hour of the club. 

He stepped on stage amidst general indifference, placing himself under the central spotlight. He sat on the chair waiting for him and after taking a last good breath, softly hit the microphone in front of him, twice. Conversations stopped and all the eyes turned to him. Among them he identified his friends, Maru and Hina had made it as well, and the luminous hazelnut eyes he had vowed his life to. Ohkura was surprised, his mouth agape, waiting for something to happen. That night, the young man turned thirty-two and Ryo had prepared a surprise he hoped they would remember for a while.

In the silence, he stroke a first string and cleared his throat. His heart was pounding so much he could feel it on the tip of his fingers.

“Hi. Sorry to interrupt, everyone. Hmm... Today is... My love's birthday and... I wanted to give him a song as a present. I'm sorry if it's not perfect, so please be forgiving...” He locked his eyes with Ohkura's and murmured in the microphone. “Babe, I love you.”

A note after another, the melody filled the room. He played with attention, focused on his fingers' position. Soon enough came the moment when he had to sing. Shota and Maru were encouraging him, gesturing behind his boyfriend's back. If he had not been that nervous, he would have laughed at how stupid they looked. His hoarse voice surprised him when he started, but in the end it felt a lot easier to play and to sing at the same time, his mind being too busy to care about what people could think of him.

He remembered his lines perfectly and as the chorus arrived he felt a lot more at ease. He was going to nail this. For Ohkura.

_Scarecrow, even if I get lashed by the wind  
Scarecrow, even if I get struck by the rain  
Scarecrow, even if my colors are fading  
Scarecrow, I'll still be here, right? _

He realized his eyes had closed singing those lines. He put all his heart in them, all the feelings he wanted to convey. Ohkura was motionless, his intense gaze set on him. Those eyes alone gave him the strength to keep singing, to go through the song and deliver his message.

 

_Scarecrow, even if I get lashed by the wind  
Scarecrow, even if I get struck by the rain  
Scarecrow, even if my colors are fading  
Scarecrow, I'll still be here, right? _

_So that you won't get lost, so that you will find me easily  
So that you'll never be lonely  
I'll be there._

The song ended abruptly, in the silence. Ryo knew he was crying but he didn't care. He got up and bowed shyly as the first burst of applause shook the club's still air. It was confusing and exhilarating but the only thing he wanted was to see Ohkura, to hold him in his arms. And his lover arrived, jumping on the stage to run at him. He took Ryo in his arms and kissed him with passion. As he tightened their embrace, the young man murmured in his ear:

“You were amazing. I'll be there for you too, forever. My life is yours...”

 

The End.


End file.
